Exciting walk

We made an exciting walk today. It was warm and sunny, nice weather for a walk. Although I think any weather is good for a walk, it is just great to be outdoors. We went to the dunes and the beach!

I did some good running and swam to cool down. When we walked back through the dunes we encountered some wildlife! This is me, spotting it:

Okay, it was not really wildlife, but it was roaming free so I considered it wildlife. And a suitable prey.

Unfortunately the feline just stayed there, watching me. That is not supposed to happen. They ought to run, so I can chase them! So when M insisted that I walked on with her, I did. Next time I hope it will run away from me.

Camping!

We went camping! After a short winter rest M thought it was time to pack the campervan again and I was very excited. Our camping holidays are always awesome. I jumped into the van and we were off!

We drove to the south, to a place with even more beaches and dunes than the place where we live. There are also huge man made dams to protect the land from the sea, M told me. That is where we walked first. It was a bit windy.

The first night we camped in the front garden of M’s aunt, which is just big enough to park our campervan. The aunt has a lovely house and garden and I chased all the rabbits and the deer out of her garden, to protect her pretty plants. I am sure they will not return for some time, I made it very clear they are not welcome.

The next day we walked in a wood that was filled with wild flowers:

And there was an empty beach, especially for us!

After this we moved on to a camping in the woods. There were squirrels! I had a great time watching them:

And eating them!

Okay, that is not true. I was gnawing a juicy bone M brought with us. I am telling the truth in this blog, you know, always. No fake news here!

The camping was next to a big nature reserve. Of course we went to explore it. It was really nice. More squirrels and deer and big geese in the water!

We walked for hours.

It was a very nice little camping holiday. I hope we will go again, soon!

Mountain wildlife

M tells me we are in the south of Germany and these mountains are called The Alps. I don’t care much about the name of the place, but I do like it here, very much. We make nice long walks and we are camping in our new campervan. When we walk M and P like to stop and have a drink and some food and they share it with me – so far I ate speck, big chunks of pancake called Kaiserschmarrn and schnitzel. So these mountains aren’t only great for walking, but also for eating out!

When we walk I smell loads of wildlife. The mountains must be swarming with it! Yesterday we sat for some drink at a place where a special kind of wildlife was roaming free. They came very close. I would have loved to catch them, they looked big and fat and juicy. Alas, M had me on a tight leash. Which was not fair. I have dreams about this wildlife now… In those dreams I do catch one of these big chunky birds and tear them to pieces. I think they will taste like Kaiserschmarrn. My mouth is watering!

 

Fox alert!

I like chasing birds and cats and little dogs, but most of all I like to chase foxes. I did it once. We were walking through a field and there it was, a slender fox, right in front of me. In cases like this I do not hesitate: I was off full speed immediately. The fox saw me too (they are not stupid, you know) and started to run towards some bushes. In order to get there, it had to cross the path where we were walking. I sensed where it was going and I raced towards the bushes too, intercepting the fox on his way there. I missed him by half a nose length – he escaped in the prickly bushes. Men, he was fast!

It was the best chase I ever had.

I would love to get another chance of hunting fox. So you can imagine I was thrilled when we were walking in the dunes and there it was, a big fat fox. Just sitting there, in the sunlight.

I smelled it and my muscles started to tense. It was pretty far away and there was a hollow with some prickly bushes between us, so I had to think up a clever plan in order to make this hunt succeed. Then the fox did this:

He arched his back to shit! This was a great opportunity for me, the moment to start the chase. You see: when one defecates, one is temporarily focussed on just that. One can not run and defecate at the same time. Every dog knows this. This was my chance to get close to the fox, he would never be able to outrun me.

But to my great misfortune M had me on a leash and would not let me go. I couldn’t believe she did not let me, I still can’t believe it. This could have been my one and only chance to chase a fox again! I am depressed, really depressed.

Birthday!

This weekend is my birthday! I am so excited because I asked for a very special present. I really really want to have a mountain cat. All for myself. We met them this summer and they looked juicy and furry and a very good sport to play with. There were loads of them where we saw them, in the mountains, so I gather it won’t be a problem for M and P to get me one. This is what they look like:

My last big wish (for Christmas) were hair extensions, which I did not get because my hair turned out to be too short to weave these extensions into. I hope I will be more lucky this time and get my own personal mountain cat!

To-do list

Although dogs live in the present, we do like to dream of wonderful things. So I made a list of my things-to-do. I like thinking up lists when I am snoozing in the sun. Lists of my favorite food and things that make me happy (which is the same thing, mostly).

Of course this list is an ongoing process, lets call this one my to-do list 1.0. I hear it is actually called a bucket list, although I do not understand what a bucket has got to do with it.

This is it:

1. Catching a pigeon (and eating it).

2. Finally attacking the Enemy, the dogs living next door. Their energy is so bad. And they are way too often trespassing my territory. I can’t wait to teach them a lesson.

3. Eating my favorite pizza.

4. Hunting antilope in Arabia, like the Salukis do.

5. Playing a part in a movie, with a very famous human (M says I have to choose George Clooney). Okay, I’ll be honest: I do not really want to do this, it seems kind of boring to me (sorry Mr. Clooney). But if I do, I can finally stop Hester bragging about her moviestar career.

6. The sun shining every day, making it at least 25 degrees Celsius. Preferably 30 degrees. From the moment  I wake up and get out of my snoozebag, till the time I go to bed.

7. A snoozebag on every floor in our house. And one in the campervan.

8. Fresh energy for my friend Zuid, so she will be young again and we can chase pigeons together.

9. An awesome ferocious Dobermann as a boyfriend, to show off on the beach. Or a proud Saluki. I can’t choose. Right: two boyfriends. We’ll all go to the beach, together! Then Boss can come, too.

 

Watching

M and P sometimes look at this luminous device in our living room – M tells me it is called a television. They sit down and watch. I think it is pretty boring to look at. I prefer watching our garden. There are a lot of juicy pigeons in our garden and sometimes even a cat. I just sit and look at them, I study them and think of the best strategies to catch them. It will give me an advantage when I meet them outside. A dog has to be clever.

Camouflage cat

On my late afternoon round we usually walk the same route. I get quite excited when we enter a certain street, because there is a cat living there. It is a particularly nasty one: she is very lazy and always gossiping about her human.

Unfortunately M keeps me on a leash on this walk, so I can’t catch the cat. But I always bark and growl to her and she scolds back – I won’t write what names she calls me, I suspect Wordpress will delete them as being inappropriate. But believe me, they are gruesome.

Yesterday it was very quiet in the street. I was on the lookout for her, but I did not smell her. It turned out she was hiding from me. Like a camouflage cat! But she did not mislead me, of course not. She may be as dark as the earth, I spotted her immediately. She was so lazy she didn’t even scold me. Which (frankly) was a disappointment…. because, you know, she teaches me new words I can use when I encounter very nasty dogs.

 

Cats: the real story

There are a lot of blogs about cats. Written by cat lovers, not by cats themselves, of course not. Cats are way to lazy to do anything, even blogging is too much work for them.

I notice that cat lovers write a lot of nice stuff about cats: how cute they are, how mysterious, how wise. Well, I’ll help you out a bit here, because you are misled. You may think your cat likes you and thinks deep thoughts all day, but the truth is: they are not. In real life, they complain and gossip about their humans, all day long.

We dogs know, because we understand cat language. That is why we don’t like cats (okay, it is one of the reasons) – it makes you depressed, just listening to them. Cats complain about their food (it is not tasty / never enough), their bed (it is not soft enough, it is too warm / cold / in the wrong place) and most of all: their human. If you think your cat is looking at you in a mysterious way, it is actually laughing you in the face. I never met a cat who liked her human. I have to admit that some dogs can overdo it, all this tail wagging and jumping up and down whenever they see their human, but cats are the ultra opposite. They are prissy, perky and some of them are downright malignant. The stories they tell about you are horrible! Like the stories in the tabloids, but much, much worse.

So, cat lovers: don’t let me stop you from posting all this tasty blogs and pictures of cats. I do like to read them. But at least you are warned, because now you know the real story.