Tail

In some ways humans are better off than canines. They can always walk off leash, for instance. But if one takes a holistic point of view, canines have the most benefits. We are the ones with the happy simple lives: we guard, play and eat when we want and sleep the rest of the time. Much better than humans, who seem to be in a hurry all the time doing… yes, what exactly? I don’t know. Working, M tells me. Working for what, when they already have a house and plenty of food?

When it comes to physical differences canines are much better off than humans, too. Humans seem to navigate on one sense only: eyesight. Canines have sharp eyes, but also extraordinary hearing and smelling capabilities. Not to mention our seventh sense, which enables us to feel trouble that is coming to us (like a bad mannered dog in the dog park). We have wonderful warm fur (no clothes needed), pretty ears and, best of all: a tail. Humans do not have a tail. And that is very sad for them. With a tail, you see, one can do so many things.

Like using it as a counterweight when something asks for thorough nose-investigation.

It is also a clear tool for communication, as you can see: my friend near the water signals me she is ready for playing and I answer her with my tail in the same position. The game is on, friend!

The tail high up means: I am stronger than you are, try me! It is also a signal of extreme alertness – I put my tail up high when I smell a burglar, or a cat. By the way: in the above picture my friends were not really fighting, they were just testing one another’s strength. The dog in the back thought it pretty silly, as you can see.

A tail is a real asset. It is sad humans do not have one.

 

Scout

Sometimes I muse about what I would have become if I would have remained a stray dog. I suspect I would have lived my life with a pack, working together to get our food. Like I see packs of wild dogs doing on tv (yes, I watch tv. Of course, I am a city dog!)

When I see these wild dogs roaming the streets, I notice that the members of the pack all have their own specialization. Some of them are like scouts: exploring the surroundings, finding the best opportunities for food. When they find something that is worth it, they let the other members of the pack know and together they start the chase. I am certain that in a wild pack of dogs I would be one of those scouts. My nose, eyes and ears are exceptional: I sense opportunities sooner than most dogs. Besides that I am very fast. I can start a hunt and let the others follow me, figuring out our tactics as we go.

When I am out with my friends, the bandidos, I am a scout. I see potentially dangerous dogs (in which case Boss is coming to assist me), yummy seafood or humans carrying sandwiches or other food that is of interest to me. But unlike the scouts in the wild packs I do not wait for the bandidos to follow me: I take the juicy bits before any of them arrives.

Is that selfish? No way. We are very well fed city dogs, we do not need the food to survive as a pack. At the end of the day we all go home to our loving humans, who fill our stomachs with yummy things. And then we watch tv together. Yeah, life is good. I am glad I did not remain a stray dog.

Thanks for the pic, Nicoline!

Dog talk

In my previous post I mentioned that I had a serious conversation with my friend, Jip. This is what it looked like:

Some of my friends who weren’t there when this happened ask me what this was all about. What were we saying? Well, it was something like this:

“You are a mean bitch!”
“You are a mean bitch!”
“Yes I am!”
“Me too!”
“You are right, you are a mean bitch!”
“Ha! We both are mean bitches!”
“Hell yeah.”
“We are two mean bitches!”
“Yeah!”
“Okay. That’s settled, then.”
“Yes it is.”
“Now what?”
“Let’s have some fun!”

And that is what we had, with the rest of our pack:

 

 

What a year

I notice that during these days a lot of humans look back at the past year. We dogs normally don’t do that: we do not muse about the past, we do not dream about the future, we are always and totally living in the present. But I can make an exception for my human readers. Actually, it is quite nice to look back on the last year! If it was a good year, that is.

My year was certainly a good one! I made some great new friends:

We did a lot of nice long walks:

We had awesome holidays, in the mountains and near the sea!

There was plenty of time to snooze in the sun:

And new culinary experiences:

Yes, it was a good year. I hope you had a splendid year, too!

Hierarchy & dominance

Yesterday I met a dog on the beach who asked me who is on top of the hierarchy in my pack. He had read my blog about knowing one’s place, where I state that Chuck is at the bottom of this hierarchy. The dog was curious where I stand. I thought it a very stupid question. I am on top, of course!

The dog who asked me this is not the brightest one and therefore it is not good if he uses his tiny brain for subjects that are too demanding for him. He’d better focus on necessary tasks (like finding food). That is why I gave him this answer. The correct answer to his question is not that simple. You see: a hierarchy in a group of dogs or humans or a mixed group is not static, but dynamic. Who is ‘on top’ depends on the task that needs to be done.

As I wrote before about the misconception of dominance, dogs and humans work together in a way that is best for a certain situation. Every group consists of leaders and followers, but they are not always the same humans or dogs. The human or dog who is most able to perform the task required is in the lead. So it depends on the task who is ‘boss’. I read in these management magazines (P reads them too) that it works exactly the same way in modern human organizations. There is no boss who tells everybody what to do, but there are specialists, working together.

That is exactly how it works in packs of dogs and humans, too. Humans know the way in the complex human world, so they guide us there. It is their speciality. Dogs know the way in the natural and spiritual world, so we guide our humans there. We teach them to be patient (when we do not come when called, for instance), to be clear in their intentions (you cannot lie to us, we see right through you) and we give comfort in hard times. Our hierarchy is fluid, it changes according to the circumstances.

Anyway, that is too difficult a story to tell the dog with the tiny brain, so I just told him I am the boss in our little hierarchy. He is a terrible newsmonger, I am sure he will tell all the beach dogs that I am the boss. Good! That’s great for my image.

Beauty tip

I already told you I love Greek yoghurt. It is creamy and very healthy. Humans and canines should eat more of it! What I did not tell you is that it is also good for your looks. When you use it as a beauty product, I mean. It is especially good for your skin and your eye lashes. And, as everybody knows, long luxuriant eye lashes are essential for pretty girls. Like me. That is why I do not only eat yoghurt, but I also apply it to my eye lashes.

I let it work for a while and than I take it of, by licking it. That is an advantage of being a canine, humans can’t do this. They need a cotton pad. Anyhow, it works wonders. You should try it!

 

 

Art

I know I am a pretty dog. We dogs don’t fake, ever, and that includes modesty. So I won’t deny I’m beautiful. But I am impressed by the amount of art that has been made of me. I will share some of it with you, although this is just a small selection of it. It is astonishing, you must agree!

There are lots of statues of me, like these two:

There are extremely pretty objects modelled after me:

And there are paintings of me, although this artist didn’t get my colors right:

It is nice to know one has inspired so many artists to make beautiful things. It is a responsibility too, I am fully aware of that. It is my job to remain pretty and provide artists with inspiration. That is why I am practicing special poses, so they can use them for another great work of art. This is the arty pose I have been practicing lately, the finest till now. What do you think? Good enough for a painting, right?

Pretty pose

Sometimes a dog just has to do what her human tells her, to make her human happy. Even if you do not see the point in doing it. We were walking near a pretty field of flowers and P just had to make a picture of me. So I put on my ‘I am a very sweet dog-face’ and sat pretty for the picture.

After that, I had to walk along with P, on the leash. Too bad. I would really have liked to crash through these pretty flowers, tossing all their fluttery leaves high up in the air.

Body language (3)

I feel like writing another dogtorial. So this is body language part 3. In the first two parts I described what the position of our ears tell about our state of mind. This time I will focus on the tail. We canines have all kinds of tails: short, long, furry, fluffy or slick like a whip. I personally prefer my own tail, which is in between furry and sleek. Just right!

The way we hold our tail tells a lot about our mood. There are three basic positions:

1. Alert and tense: our tail is high into the air. It can move (which means we are excited) or be very still (which means we are focussed). Some humans call this dominant, but I already wrote that dominance is a misconception. It is not dominant.

Dogs who feel very sure of themselves usually hold their tail high up in the air. When two dogs of this kind meet, their tails are going even higher. There is a reason for this: when we hold our tails high, we smell stronger. From behind. And a dog that is smelling strongly tells the world HERE I AM SHOW SOME RESPECT MAN. Something like that.

When two dogs meet with their tails high up in the air, they usually end up measuring forces. Which is fine. It is not fighting, that is something entirely different.

2. Fear: dogs who are unsure or scared hold their tail tightly between their legs, pushing it towards their belly. This is about scent, too: when you do this, you limit the way you smell from behind. That is exactly what you want when you are scared. A strong smell will tell everybody that you are there. It makes you look bold. When you want to be shy, you hide your smell. It may seem simple, but for us dogs it works perfectly.

3. Relaxed. This looks like:

There are a lot of positions in between these three. I for instance have a position in between relaxed and alert:

There are dogs that have very odd tails. Some have no tail at all, only a short stub. Something horrible must have happened to them to have a tail like that! Anyway, even then you can read their mood. They press the stub downwards when they feel scared and stick it high up in the air when they are alert.

Some dogs are bred with tails in an odd position. Some have their tails in a curl high up their back, which makes them look alert when in fact they are relaxed. You have to take this into consideration when you want to read our tails. Although even dogs who are bred with tails in curls on their back can very well push their tails between their legs. I know from experience: in our puppy class there was a cocksure maltese. He was only three months old and thinking he was the pack leader. Of course I could not let that happen, as the senior dog in the group (I was five months old at that time). So I disciplined him. His tail went right between his legs. After that we became friends.

Priorities

Sometimes I really do not understand humans. For instance: they seem to sort their priorities in the wrong way. I thought priorities were the same for humans, dogs and all other animals alike:

1. Food

2. Shelter

3. Happiness

The first two are straightforward, you can direct all your energy to obtain those two. When you have them, you can go to number 3: happiness. I think happiness is the same for humans and dogs, too: being healthy, feeling energetic, being with the ones you love, enjoying the warmth of the sun, being outdoors, feeling connected. We all like that, it makes us happy.

So why is it that humans do so many other things, stuff they do not really like, when they already fulfilled the three top priorities? Take M and P. We have a nice and warm house and food every day. They look happy to me, most of the time. Of course, one has to invest in keeping food, shelter and happiness, so that takes some time. However, they spend lots of time on things that do not contribute to obtaining food, shelter or happiness. They sit behind these luminous devices for hours and hours every day and talk into these black boxes. They fuss about catching the train to get to their appointments on time. All these things have nothing to do with obtaining food, shelter or happiness. So why do they do it?

It would be so much better for them if they would take me as an example. We could have a big breakfast, go out together (the three of us) and when we are back home again we could sleep in the sun. When we wake up, we have some snacks, another nice walk and play and then we can snooze again. That would be nice!

M tells me sometimes there are conflicting priorities and you have to sort them out. I understand that, we dogs have this too. For instance when we are out fetching balls and another dog wants to play with us. Like this:

Then we decide what to do: continue to gnaw on the ball, or play with the other dog. We take this decision in a nanosecond. We dogs are very good at quickly sorting our priorities, getting them right. I think humans can learn a lot from us.